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confusedandhurt
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 06-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-12-2006 at 16:45 |
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So hurt and nothing I can do - I need opinions!
Hi.. I just recently moved to California about half a year ago, and now I wish I never did.
Let me get into the story... I met this girl and we were just friends for a few months, talking the odd time. I finally got the courage to tell her how I feel and I found out she liked me too. After a few months of 'seeing each other', (well she had a boyfriend so that was a no-no on her part for seeing me, but she didn't dump him for a few months while seeing me for some reason...) we started going out. Now we have been seeing each other for a few months and we have had sex many times. We had sex about 2 months into the relationship and she was who I lost my virginity with.
Now this doesn't seem complicated, but I wasn't her first time. It makes me so mad and hurt because I wanted me to be her first time too. It makes me want to break up with her and find a virgin, even though it's too late for my virginity.
Now there's other things that come into play too, that make me more mad and hurt. She lost her virginity in grade 9 on the first day she started going out with some guy. Sounds like a huge slut, doesn't it? They had sex after that too, and there was rumours that she had sex with someone else after she broke up with this guy, but I don't know if it's true or not.
It really makes me feel like my first time wasn't special at all, because she's done it many times before, and it wasn't special... in fact I can't even remember the first time we had sex, fantastic isn't it? Enough sarcasm though. What does anyone think about this? I can't get over this fact and my brain is telling me to find a virgin.
All I want is people's opinions on what they think of her, what I should do, maybe ways or reasons to help me forget about this fact - or to dump her because I can't seem to get over it, and anything else... Thanks to anyone who replies!
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luckycharmsuntouched
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 06-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-12-2006 at 23:04 |
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advice
confused and hurt,
I know that it must be a bummer that you gave your virginity to someone who werent themself a virgin. but you have to remember that just because she had sex before you two were in a relationship, doesnt mean that she didnt find it special. i can understand that you must be hurt that you placed more worth on that aspect of your body than she did.
but one question i have for you is did you know that she was not a virgin before you had sex with her? also, finding a virgin just for the sole purpose to have them value having sex with you, is dating for all the wrong reasons.
yes, it is a big deal if someone you are dating has had sex before, but why should that be a determining factor of whether or not to date them?
If your girlfriend truely cares about you, then she is appreciating every time you have sex with her. if she is not meeting your needs when it has to do with making you feel like your first time was special, then maybe you should consider discontinuing the relationship.
if someone you are dating disreguards something that is very important to you, then why are they worth your time to begin with?
i would just tell you that for future refrence, before you decide to have sex with the girl you are dating, make sure you know what you are wanting out of the relationship first. because it sounds like you did not do too much thinking about your feelings when it came to having sex.
i hope this was a useful answer to your question.
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sweettart
Member
Posts: 49
Registered: 07-01-2005 Location: California
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posted on 06-13-2006 at 15:33 |
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California
I live in California and i'm sorry to hear about your story.I would take your experience as a learning lesson.you're wiser and smarter.
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